An early reading primer teaching us newly uncovered, but as yet unarticulated, time gaps in the English auxiliary verb system. Was Rick will have to be been seeing Janet? Well? Was will he be? With a little practice, and some EBFN coaching, you can inhabit these sparsely populated time zones.

Erik Belgum's EBFN Radio is a fiction variety show influenced by neurological and psychological research protocols, Robert Ashley, Ernie Kovacs, speech pathology, Second City Television, noise music, P.T. Barnum, test patterns, Vic and Sade, and William Burroughs. Writes Belgum, "If my timing feels way off, well, that’s on you. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll feel like you’re going to throw up for hours and hours, but in a good way. In any case, it’s a win-win for me."