In the next half hour, you’ll hear randomly generated Social Security numbers providing unequivocal authentication for randomly generated names. Here’s a massive hack of one of the fundamental moves in capitalism – the magical conversion of people into numbers. Let this hack be read aloud to all America. Let this hack destroy the connection. Nine digits. Two names. Just pick ones you like. If all goes well, by the end of this half hour we will live under a different system.

Erik Belgum's EBFN Radio is a fiction variety show influenced by neurological and psychological research protocols, Robert Ashley, Ernie Kovacs, speech pathology, Second City Television, noise music, P.T. Barnum, test patterns, Vic and Sade, and William Burroughs. Writes Belgum, "If my timing feels way off, well, that’s on you. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll feel like you’re going to throw up for hours and hours, but in a good way. In any case, it’s a win-win for me."