SHE ARRIVED AMID HORSES #2

____________________________

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

____________________________

sandy lam ::: 激情 (take my breath away)

elaine howley ::: hold me in a new way

cornelia murr ::: different this time

pale saints ::: sight of you

free play angel ::: crimethnic superstar

geneva jacuzzi ::: bad moods 

the knife ::: pass this on

the silver apples ::: i have known love

u.s. girls ::: island song

mucama & valleflorido ::: parte ii (te amo por como ayudaste a salir de acá)

les rallizes denudes ::: but i was different 

____________________________

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

____________________________

"aching uncanny

i expect that you have been expecting me. i don’t care to do all the bending to announce myself, to make

you remember me and in some ways i don’t have to, because you are better at unforgetting. We keep each other haunted in the spots between our messages. i speak as two sisters now, sisters who keep language for each other in bundles—here, these are the words you may want to use next time, my love. i am able to build things into the everyday parts of our encounters that make your hairs rise on your shoulders, the parts that dip down to stretch to your ribs. “How did she know to say that?” so many times i have been listening while looking in another direction. How many times i have arrived at the end of something that carried the power of what just happened, enough for me to know it all. i find ways to bring these back to you. offerings to let you know i have been paying attention.

attention

you cannot grab it, you cannot take it, you cannot keep it. you need my consent for my attention. it takes more than just putting yourself into my sightline. attention is something that i offer, that i design myself to do. i give my attention, you hold it, turn it around your fingers and knees, we pass it back and forth, we can give a few seconds of it but they are fully yours and mine. We

can give hours of it, because it is like giving attention to ourselves.

My attention and intention are for land and water. and sky. and stars. and underground territories. and even deeper pathways.

call :: response

When you come to call, when you call to me, when you called into that tunnel and nothing came back. When you carefully rearranged your schedule so that you could keep me on the other line, keep me from being uncalled. When you call and i pick up too soon, before it has even rung, and we laugh about whether the other one is really there. “oh, it didn’t even ring.” “oh, it did on my side.” “oh.” When you call across

a room and realize that my name doesn’t carry well with volume, but with the intensity that air gives to sound—a whisper-shout that betrays another register of affect. one unintended, but still true, somehow.

When you respond to a touch that you have been longing for, when you respond to a touch that you have been avoiding, when you respond to a touch that hovers just above the skin but close enough to detect the warmth of what was going to happen, but not anymore."

("visitations," tuck & recollet, 2017)